300 Word Pitch

Just in case you were curious, here is the 300 word pitch that I submitted to the ABNA that kept me in the running:
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Many hundreds of years ago the land of Aom-igh was in grave danger from the Dark Country across the Stained Sea; in their danger King Llian sought out the help of the dragons and the myth-folk. Graldon, King of the Dragons, granted the human king with a gift that would help him defeat his enemies. Graldon also promised King Llian that the dragons would come to the humans’ aid should Aom-igh ever be in such deadly danger again.
Years passed, and Aom-igh remained safe and isolated from its enemies. The dragons slowly disappeared and faded into legend and myth. Magic seemed to flee from the land and people began to forget that it had ever existed.
When her kingdom is threatened by an unknown enemy, the headstrong Princess Kamarie must set off on a quest to find the one man who may be able to save them all: the former King’s Warrior. With her travel two companions: a maid named Darby who has been her nurse since Kamarie was very young, and a squire named Oraeyn who would rather be on the front lines when the enemy arrives and resents his charge to travel with and protect the princess. However, finding this legendary hero proves to be the least of their worries. Together the companions encounter more than they ever bargained for: a beautiful gatekeeper, a sword fashioned by dragons, dark warriors who pursue them relentlessly and hound them at every turn, and an underground world full of mythical creatures are just the beginning of their adventures. As they search for the answers to mystifying prophecies and seek a way to save everything that they hold dear the comrades will learn a little about courage, a lot about truth, and more about themselves than they ever imagined.
***

What do you think? I was surprised I made it, but then again, “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26.

Accepting critiques of my pitch now. Do you think I should revise it for my query letter? How would you describe my book in 300 words or less? This is the part of writing that is hardest for me: narrowing it down into a concise explanation of what the book is about, so I’m honestly looking for tips, ideas, or even criticisms here.

~ jenelle

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