Adjusting Course and Resetting Expectations...

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I need to be.”

—Douglas Adams

"Overwhelmed."

That about sums up all my emotions lately, especially when it comes to my writing career.

There is far too much to do, and I feel like there just isn't enough time to get it all done. No matter how fast I write, I'll never write fast enough. No matter how careful I am, I'll never write polished enough. No matter how much I do, there's always a mile-long list of things I haven't done... and it's getting very discouraging.

As an "eternal optimist" who prefers to go through life smiling... this is doubly uncomfortable. I had hoped that taking a month off from social media and blogging would help and that I would be able to spend that time working on Turrim Archive... but that didn’t happen.

It doesn’t mean that I didn’t get stuff done... I did. It just wasn’t necessarily the stuff I intended to get done when I took a break. And now that I’m semi-back (I’m still not spending much time on fb or twitter), I don’t feel rested and the idea of all the things to keep up with (facebook groups I should be interacting in, newsletters I should be sending out, blog posts I ought to be writing, IG challenges I should be taking pictures for...) well, let’s just say that I’m not excited about any of it.

At this point, I’m not even sure what to do. I cannot tell you how many times this year I’ve prayed and asked God if He wants me to stop writing. To stop publishing. To focus on something else. 

Honestly, in many ways, it would be a relief to just “let it go.”
*cue Elsa GIF*

I am so tired. I don’t feel like I have the time or the energy or even the mental brain-space to get even half of the things on my list done, and when I sit down to try to write a blog post or try to work on editing Turrim Archive or even contemplate any of the other “new” story ideas I have, that wave of “overwhelm-ed-ness” hits me head-on and I start to feel like I’m drowning again.

Here it is August, and I feel like I’ve gotten absolutely nothing done this year.

“But, Jenelle,”you might say, ”didn’t you release a whole new book back in, like, June?”

Yes, yes I did. And that should tell you something about my mental state that I can’t even celebrate that. 

And it’s not like An Echo of the Fae did poorly! It’s done amazingly well compared to my previous releases. I’m thrilled about how many beautiful, positive comments I’ve gotten about this book. I’m ecstatic about all the parents who have reached out to me to tell me that they are reading this book to their kiddos. That’s exactly the audience I have always written for, and it does my heart good to know that families are enjoying my book together.

So, what’s a weary, overwhelmed, discouraged author to do?

Well... I’m not going to stop writing books.

God hasn’t laid it on my heart to give that up. In fact, He has done the opposite, and shown me in many small ways that writing stories is what He wants me to keep on with.

And I’m not going to stop publishing books.

But I might be a little slower than in recent years. I am not now, and never have been the sort of author who can both write and release multiple books in a single year. Even a book-a-year as has been the case for the past three years (Minstrel’s Call: 2018, Evening in Bethlehem: 2019, Echo of the Fae: 2020) has been a schedule I had a hard time keeping up with, and I think trying to keep up that pace is what has me careening down into this deep well of no way out.

And I don’t intend to give up blogging. Though my schedule may be a bit more lackadaisical in the foreseeable future. You might not see posts every week. And sometimes you might see multiple posts in a week. I’ve been trying to put together a schedule, but the thing is, I only enjoy blogging when I have something to say and I have the time to say it well. If I force it, it becomes a chore. And as this whole author thing doesn’t have to pay the bills (though it’s nice when it does) I don’t have to be super strict and rigid with my schedule... and as someone who doesn’t do well with strict or rigid... well, there’s really no wonder it hasn’t been working.

I’m not sure when I’ll be publishing something new. I intend to get back to work on Turrim Archive, but the first book is taking a lot longer than I expected (A. LOT. LONGER.) and I have to just let it take the time it needs and stop trying to push it faster than I can handle. My goal remains to edit and polish the entire 5-book series and eventually rapid-release them each 6-9 months apart... so once they are done, you’ll get the entire series pretty quick. It just means that there’s going to be some time between now and that first one. I had hoped to maybe be able to release book 1 sometime in 2021, but barring some sort of miracle, I really don’t see that happening.

There are also several other story ideas playing bumper cars in my head and vying for attention, and I’m not going to discount the idea that one of them may demand to be written in the meantime. Echo wants a sequel, and Blake and Earl are demanding I write a whole book for them, and then Alex Charming is... well, Alex is waiting quite patiently and doing some needlepoint, that’s just the sort of character she is. *grin*

But… this author adventure… I’m gonna keep going with it.

So, I guess, this long and rambly post is just to ask you, dear Reader, to be patient with me. I have stories to write, and I intend to write them. But I also intend to take the time they require to make sure they are the best they can be before they are in your hands.

In the meantime, though, I don’t want to leave you with nothing to look forward to. So I am pleased and excited to announce that the Silmaril Awards are returning soon for their 5th year in a row!

We’ve even added two new hostesses to the line-up. Everyone please welcome Sarah @Light and Shadows and Kenzie from @Smudged Thoughts to the Silmaril Awards team!

This year we are also hosting a giveaway and an IG bookstagram challenge. Check out the graphics below for more details.

Instagram Challenge Prompts

(for those who like to take pictures early or pre-schedule your posts)

And if you are new here and have no idea what I’m talking about or what the Silmaril Awards even are... please check out our Official Silmaril Awards Website for more details.

We also have a Silmaril Awards Facebook Group for more active discussion about all the fantasy characters and the event itself. Come join us!

It’s the fantasy blogging event of the year, and one of my favorite things that I look forward to every year!