King's Warrior Read-Along: Chapter 8
Good morrow to you, and Happy National Pastry Day! Now there’s an unofficial holiday that sounds like a lot of fun. I suddenly feel quite motivated to go bake something.
Ahem.
Welcome back to the read-along of King’s Warrior. Sorry about the confusion at the door, you’re in the right place, we’re just having pastries with our reading today, that’s all. If you’re just joining us, we’re all spending the month of December reading my first novel, KING’S WARRIOR together. Feel free to join in the discussion, and ask your own questions in the comment section and I’ll answer them in a later post. But for now, grab yourself a croissant, a cup of hot cocoa, and come warm yourselves by the fire as we look a bit more closely at this latest chapter. And a truly exciting chapter it is, because... finally... HERE THERE BE DRAGONS!
Today our intrepid travelers will be venturing into the large and mysterious realm of Krayghentaliss. A truly incredible realm comprised of a network of massive tunnels deep below the surface of the earth beneath Aom-igh. Just how large this world is, no one knows. Well, no one but the dragons, and they’re not telling.
I’m going to let you see a few of my notes today. As I was writing this chapter the first time, I realized I had thrown around a lot of numbers and back-story in the previous chapters, and it was high time I figured out just how long certain individuals could live. So, I started jotting things down in a separate word document:
Dragons live 700-800 years
Wizards live 300-400 years
Gryphons live 200-400 years
Pegasus live 150-200 years
Unicorns live 150-200 years
This is the sort of technical stuff it is generally better to figure out during the plotting/outlining stage of the story... but then, King’s Warrior skipped that stage, and paid for it during the editing stage.
Krayghentaliss. Although Kamarie has the stray thought that perhaps this realm lies beneath the entirety of Aom-igh, that can’t possibly be true. Even with magic to shield it, someone would be bound to discover the dragons’ refuge at some point, probably for something as mundane as digging a well. In my head, the subterranean realm was always fairly contained to the south-western portion of Aom-igh. But then, who really knows?
As our characters travel, we get to listen in on a conversation that sheds a bit of light on some things. We learn that Darby was not just a wizardess in disguise, but is also Kamarie’s aunt! Suddenly some of those conversations between Arnaud and Zara make more sense. As Kamarie wrestles with this sudden addition to her identity, I wonder if Oraeyn has a sense of not being quite so alone anymore?
This is also the first mention of Dragon Wards - which is important - but we don’t get to see why it is important until YORIEN’S HAND - which is an excellent opportunity for me to give you another sneak peek from my upcoming book:
Shentallyia was not certain where she was headed. She knew little about her ward other than that he was far away and in grave danger. She also knew what direction to fly, but that was where her intuition ended. She did not know how far she had to go. She did not know his name or what he looked like. She did not know how she would find him or even how old he was, she merely knew she would recognize him the instant that she saw him. So she flew in the direction of her ward, filled with excitement, but also filled with rising fear.
It had been hundreds of years since the last ward had been born. Or at least, that was what Shentallyia had been taught. She wondered if perhaps being underground had kept the dragons from being able to sense their wards. For certainly, Shentallyia had never before sensed that she had a ward until they had emerged from the tunnels of Krayghentaliss.
What would it be like? She wondered for a moment, to meet him? She wondered if he knew of her as well. Was he waiting for her to come, wondering why it was taking her so long? Then she had a horrible thought, what if he was afraid of her? She had already flown beyond the borders of Aom-igh, what if he belonged to one of those fearful countries that did not believe in dragons anymore? The thought gave her pause and she almost halted her flight. But the call was stronger than her fear.
Meeting the King of the dragons. This is another favorite moment for me, as my characters introduce themselves to Rhendak. This is one of those places where third-person omniscient can be so much fun, and head-hopping doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. I loved getting to show how each character introduces themselves, and how, after Dylanna, they add titles or things to their names, hoping to somehow impress the dragons, or at least (in Yole’s case), deter the dragons from eating them. And then there’s Brant. The contrast in their words would have been fun by itself, but I think it adds more humor to show the reader in this particular instance, why Kamarie, Oraeyn, and Yole introduce themselves the way they do. This post is getting long, so I’ll talk more about dragons later!
A little out of order, but I wanted to keep the dragon stuff together - we travel to treacherous Roalthae, where we get to see a glimpse of the traitor: Prince Elroy, hear a little bit about the villainous monarch intent on conquering Aom-igh: King Seamas, and meet a very intriguing character in the middle of it all: Tobias.
Tobias did not appear in the original draft of this book. He actually got added in during the final round of edits, when I realized that certain tie-overs between King’s Warrior and Second Son might work better than what I had originally written. Originally, I spent all of my villain-page-time with either Elroy or Seamas, and in doing so, I didn’t really get to adequately introduce the reader to either of them.
Just for a treat... I thought I’d share the particularly unimpressive original draft of this scene.
Prince Elroy stood on the shoreline looking towards Aom-igh with an evil, expectant grin on his face. The Dark Country had a plan of attack. The plan was a very good one, and Elroy agreed with it, especially since it gave him personally, as well as Roalthae, a great honor.
The armies of the other countries were being brought to Roalthae, because they were the smallest, the weakest fighting force that the Dark Country had. Roalthae was the strongest, the largest, as well as the closest to the prey. The king of the Dark Country had promised Elroy that he and his army were being saved for something strategically critical. It would be Roalthae’s honor to be a part of the end, of the glorious finish. Prince Elroy was impatient; he wished to wade in and destroy, to conquer.
Standing on the shoreline he paced impatiently. Every once in a while he would stop and turn his face in the direction of Aom-igh. He stared hard, as if trying to see the country beyond the horizon, then he smiled again and licked his lips. Soon now, he thought, very soon.
He nodded his head slightly and winced a little. The black crown on his head was heavy. The weight was not much, but it was there, a constant reminder of his new allegiance. The crown was only a slight irritation, not because of the weight, but because it reminded him that he served another. But he had plans, oh yes; Elroy was full of ambitious plots and schemes for seizing more power. Soon, very soon, he would serve no one, but all would instead bow before him. This allegiance to the Dark Country was only temporary, the first step on his journey to the top.
Elroy’s ambition was noted. Although he was not aware of it, he was being constantly watched. His ambition was useful, for now, but they were ready and able to squash the Prince of Roalthae in a heartbeat if his usefulness ceased.
Discussion Questions:
- Dragons! They feature heavily in the fantasy genre. Which ones are your favorites? Why?
- What do you think of the use of third-person omniscient? It’s been going out of vogue lately (particularly in YA fiction) in favor of the first-person limited perspective. Which do you prefer? Why?
- Any thoughts on the differences between the original first scene with Prince Elroy and the re-written one?