Chaos Can't: A Ray of Hope in a Dark Place
If you’re anything like me, 2020 was rough on you.
Perhaps your soul could use a little healing balm.
I know mine did.
I’ve shared a little bit about some of the struggles I walked through last year. We went through a lot. But the most difficult thing for me last year was how my creative well completely dried up. I struggled and slogged and TRODGED through the mire… but felt like I made very little progress. And what progress I did make, I kind of hated.
I spent the final quarter of 2020 like Atreyu in the Swamp of Sadness, up to my chin in the muddy water, and just about ready to close my eyes and stop bothering to try anymore.
And then (if I can carry on the Neverending Story metaphor without getting yelled at) like Falcor swooping down from the sky and lifting me from the quicksand… Allen Arnold released his new book: Chaos Can’t.
If you are a creative and you’re struggling with your art, or you’ve EVER struggled with your art, or with feelings of discouragement and considered just throwing in the towel on this whole creative thing… you need to read this book.
The book starts with a beautiful short story that sets the tone for the rest of this book. I don’t want to give anything away, but that short story is worth the admission price all by itself.
The next few chapters take a concerted look at “chaos.”
Chaos is a destructive, fear-based force that prevents you from fully living. The ways it comes against you—large and small—are often intensely personal strikes meant to leave you empty.
Oh, dear Reader. I read those words and felt as though someone were speaking to my very soul. “Empty.” That was exactly how I felt. Battered and broken and creatively empty. And while I was being filled spiritually through time on my knees and in the Word, and my hope of salvation was ever intact… my creativity continued to run dry. I was emotionally exhausted by the year of disappointments, worry, and… yes, Chaos surrounding me. Every word I wrote tasted stale. And while I continued to try to write… I’ll admit… I was trying to do so under my own power… but the batteries were dead.
What God has given you to do is beyond you, for you, and never up to you.
How badly I needed that reminder. Often, God speaks to you through His Word. Other times, He speaks directly to your soul. And sometimes, he uses other people. For me, this was one such time.
It was October 21st, and Allen actually reached out to me in an email to let me know that he had a new book out. I absolutely loved The Story of With when I read it a couple of years ago, and had met the author at Realm Makers, where we chatted about our mutual love for Stephen R. Lawhead, and so I ran over to Amazon and bought a copy that very day to take with me on a last-minute road trip.
I didn’t realize it at the time (sometimes, it’s hard to see the darkness when you’re in the midst of it) but I was at some of my lowest moments in those weeks.
Chaos Can’t breathed life into me.
Inside its pages, I found reminders of something I had forgotten along the way. The importance of doing everything WITH God. It reminded me that the “doing” (whatever it happens to be: writing, adult-ing, parenting, crocheting, rock climbing, being a wife, cleaning the house, reading… or really anything) is nowhere near as important as the One with WHOM we are doing it. That my own metrics for "success" as a parent or wife or author or teacher are not as meaningful as simply using my gifts and talents with my Creator and FOR HIM.
We are not called to do things for God unless we’re first willing to do those things with God. To be the student rather than the master
God’s desire is to spend time co-creating with you rather than nodding in approval at a finished work that you did alone.
The Master’s Wheel
The final chapters of the book take the reader through “The Master’s Wheel.” A series of chapters that will help you shift your focus and learn how to pursue your creativity WITH God.
These are short, practical steps that show you a different way to think. A different way to view our own art. And in the end, you are faced with a decision. A decision that the author introduced early on in the book, with one of my new all-time favorite quotes:
“Unless you choose to stay forever in a small story, you have to undertake adventures where you’re no longer the expert.”
-Allen Arnold; Chaos Can’t
It is up to each of us. Do we struggle along in our own strength, refusing to admit how little of it we have anyway? Or do we enter into a reality where nothing is impossible? Where creativity is limitless? Where we dance with our Father? Where He gets down on his knees with us and swirls His fingers in the paint, adding His own dramatic flair and unfathomable beauty to everything we do together?
I don’t know about you. But that sounds pretty good to me.
Have you read Chaos Can’t or The Story of With? What is something that has encouraged you in the past year?