Rings of Power: Episodes 1 & 2

So, I definitely intended to give Rings of Power a hard pass. My interest in watching it was down around absolute zero. Especially after the complete and utter disappointment that was the Wheel of Time series. 

However….

I read an article that made me think twice. It promised there was no sex or nudity in the first two episodes, nor any gory graphicness, and quoted one of the show’s creators as saying that there wouldn’t be any of that moving forward, either. The article made a couple of compelling arguments for at least giving the show a try… and so I did. 

I watched the first two episodes.

And I didn’t hate them.

I didn’t love them. But I didn’t hate them.

So here’s my review of episodes 1 and 2, in which I try to be fair and kind, but also honest.

I can’t do it spoiler-free, though, so if you haven’t seen the show yet, then read further at your own risk.

Disclaimer:

Rings of Power commits many and sundry canon infractions. It violates canon all over the place. I am not going to spend the entire review nitpicking these canonical sins, I’m sure you can find plenty of other sites that will do that. I will mention them when they matter to my thoughts/reactions, but for the most part, I shall be reviewing this show for what it is: high budget fan fiction and nothing more.

Episode 1

Things I Didn’t Like

GALADRIEL - Starting off with a canon violation up front and center. ha! I dislike their changes to this, a favorite character of mine. I grow weary of movie/tv show makers who seem to think that there is only one kind of strength that matters (especially when it comes to female characters): the punching/kicking/sword-wielding kind. There are so many other kinds of strength: strength of will, strength of emotion, strength of love, strength of perseverance, there is quiet strength and enduring strength… but all we get are warrior women who must prove their worth to us through strength of arms. I hate that.

I mean, sure, Xena was cool. But why does every single female character have to be her?

I would have mutinied right alongside the rest of Galadriel’s troops. She clearly didn’t care about them. Her single-minded focus didn’t have room for taking care of the people in her charge, or for logic or reasonable arguments. 

Also, every line Galadriel delivers is stiff and awkward. She only possesses one expression. 

It’s also weird to me that she and Elrond are such dear friends because canonically she is his mother-in-law… and that’s just… strange.

ACTING - they spent how much on this tv series and they couldn’t pay people who could actually act or deliver lines believably? Nor could they hire writers who could write convincing dialogue, apparently.

I’m not saying it’s this bad… but… yes. Actually. Yes, it’s this bad.

THE ELVES - At first I thought it was just the hair and tried to convince myself to get over it. (I tried, y’all, I really did) And yes, the hair is a distraction. Like a serious one. But it is more than that. Elves should have an ethereal quality, they are immortal so they should look ageless, and these elves don’t pull it off. Elves shouldn’t have wrinkles, or facial blemishes, or crow’s feet around their eyes. (There’s nothing wrong with any of those things, of course… unless you’re trying to make me believe you’re an immortal elf in the realms of Tolkien…. in which case, I’m sorry, but you’ve just presented me with humans with pointy ears). (Badly done pointy ears for the most part, too).

ELROND - (before you go throwing things at me, he does get moved to the “things I liked” category in episode 2). I just didn’t like any of his dialogue in the first episode. But in this episode he was every bit as stiff and awkward as 99% of the rest of the cast.

Sadly, this Elrond was NOT there, apparently…

WORLD BUILDING (or rather, lack thereof) - Can we discuss skin color without me being accused of being racist? Probably not. But here we go anyway. Here’s the dealio, y’all… as an author who is currently in the throes of writing a complex, diverse world and having to think very carefully about what various characters look and sound like and their cultures based on where they and their parents are from… the sloppiness of this aspect of the world-building irks me.

I have no problem with anyone in Middle Earth having darker skin than me. Okay? None whatsoever. I’m a big fan of all the shades of brown from dark to light that our single race of humans come in. But please, writers, make it make sense! Especially in family units. Children should look like they could actually be a product of their parents, or else you’re going to leave me wondering if genetics just doesn’t work the same in this world. Elanor doesn’t look like her parents. And where did Arondir or Princess Disa come from? Even Bronwyn’s son looks nothing like her… we are left to assume he looks like his father, but who knows? Are there other dark-skinned elves or dwarves or are these characters genetic anomalies? Because just tossing a token darker-skinned character at me for no reason and then having every single other member of elves or dwarves or harfoots we see be lighter in hue is broken and sloppy world building, and it pulls me out of the story and sends me off on a trail away from the narrative. Skin color is regional. So… use that. Skin color is genetic. Use it. Not using it makes it feel like you did it to fill a quota, not because you had a good reason or put any thought into it at all.

LOW BUDGET SETS - While the sweeping establishing Volume shots are gorgeous, they are only gorgeous so long as they don’t contain any actors. For example, we see a lovely pan of the city of Lindon… but every scene that takes place within Lindon doesn’t look like it’s anywhere IN the city… just in some random wood somewhere.

THE SCRIPT - There is no depth or impact in this script. The lines aren’t just delivered awkwardly… they are awkward. For example, Elrond and Galadriel’s exchange of: “You have not seen what I have seen” / “I have seen enough” / “You have not seen what I have seen” / shrug and move on / <—this is not an actual rebuttal. It sounds like children squabbling, not immortal elves having a reasoned and logical disagreement. It also doesn’t hint at any backstory we don’t already know from the prologue lines.

TELLING INSTEAD OF SHOWING - Or telling while showing, as was often the case. The scriptwriters either don’t trust their own skills, or they think the vast majority of their audience are morons. Everything we see is also narrated or explained in dialogue.

Things I Liked

ARONDIR - He was about the only thing I liked in the first episode. I love this no-nonsense character and the parallels between him and the human woman Bronwyn to Beren and Luthien/Arwen and Aragorn. He was the only person in the entire first episode with any acting ability whatsoever, and the only one who could deliver his lines convincingly. Also, he had my favorite line in the series so far when he says, “The past is with us all. Whether we like it or not.”

And that was all I liked in episode one. I had to MST3K the thing in order to stay awake because for the most part, it was a mess of mediocrity.

I give it 1 dragon egg out of 5

Episode 2

Things I Didn’t Like

GALADRIEL SWIMMING - and swimming and swimming and just keep swimming just keep swimming swim swim swim, swim swim swim, what do we do we swim… swim… swim

What was she thinking diving off the boat like that? I mean… sure, she doesn’t want to go to Valinor, but… um? We’re on this boat (that sails along by unexplained maaaagiiic powers (because there aren’t any sails and there aren’t any rowers) for several boring scenes that give us a pretty good idea that, “One cannot simply swim back to Middle Earth.” But that’s exactly what she attempts to do.

By the time she meets up with the random castaways and Halbrand I couldn’t even be bothered to care or wonder who these people were, where they came from, or what would happen next with Galadriel et al because I was Just. So. Bored.

Also, it is now head-canon for me that Galadriel drowned in that vast expanse of water, and is therefore dead, and so her story from here on out doesn’t matter. Even elves get tired. Even really determined ones.

And now this look makes more sense. She drowned in the 2nd age and refused to accept it. (sarcasm)

THE STRANGER - I mean, let’s be honest, we’re all pretty sure he’s Gandalf and he shouldn’t be there in this age. This is one of those big canon violations that bugs me more than most.

MORE SLOPPY WORLD BUILDING - Why can’t Galadriel use Elrond’s teleporter? Because clearly he has one. One second he’s in Lindon, capital city of the elves. The next he’s poppoed over to Eregion, sent there to help Celebrimbor with a super secret project. Then Elrond is like, “Hey, my good buddy Durin over in Khazad-dum can help us!” and hop, skip, jump, there the two of them are at the doorstep of Khazad-dum. When Elrond is not greeted as warmly as he expected, he tells Celebrimbor to go on home, and he’ll sort this whole thing out.

Granted, Eregion and Khazad-dum aren’t that far apart (which you can only find out if you go look it up, the distance is never mentioned)… but we never see anyone on horseback, they’re just out for a stroll… like the gates of Khazad-dum are just down the road a ways. But Lindon is much farther away from both and we don’t see any travel time for Elrond between Lindon and Eregion, leading us to believe that either these three places are all very close or rather very far apart, and anyways, clearly the elves of the 2nd age have teleporting magic. (Yes, this is me being snarky and tongue-in-cheek, but it’s also an honest question)

MYSTERY BOXES - After being burned so many times by the JarJar Abrams philosophy on storytelling that says that the shiny mystery box is the only thing that matters and what is inside the box doesn’t…. (It does matter, JarJar. It does) I’m just a little knee-jerky annoyed by mystery boxes in general. (Especially knowing that the two creators of this show are disciples of Abrams and Bad Robot). So the mystery box of Galadriel’s brother and his whispered advice (which ended up being truly awful advice, actually) and then the mystery box of The Stranger who has arrived in a flying comet storm falling from the sky, followed by the dwarves’ literal shiny mystery box are all just things I find obnoxious rather than intriguing. I refuse to put any effort or mental energy into trying to figure out what’s inside. (Because more than likely, the answer will be “nothing.”)

THE PLOT - It just feels like there really isn’t any story here. Or perhaps the story isn’t big enough for the planned length and number of seasons? Because in 2 hours, we have gotten very little story at all. One would guess that an 8-hour long show would be able to pack at least as much story into the season as we get in the first two movies of Lord of the Rings… but so far, it’s a safe bet that we won’t even get as much as we got in Fellowship

Things I Liked

DURIN - Durin is everything a dwarf should be and I love him. He also has the distinction of being a very believable actor and delivering his lines perfectly. I love him.

PRINCESS DISA - Durin’s wife is also fantastic. She is spunky and fun and sweet. I enjoyed her interactions with Elrond, her instant acceptance of him as Durin’s friend, her welcome to him as a guest in their home. I also love her interactions with Durin: very typical, beautiful wife/husband relationship here that is equal parts heartwarming and funny. 

DURIN/ELROND FRIENDSHIP - here is where the story actually begins to develop some heart and soul. These scenes between Durin and Elrond and the raw, realness of the hurt that Elrond has unknowingly dealt his friend, and his attempts to make it right were actually quite powerful and well-done. We actually get some character development and acting ability, too!

KHAZAD-DUM - unlike the rest of the sets, this one is breath-taking. We get to actually enter and walk around this space, and for the first time I felt like I was actually back inside Middle Earth.

ELANOR/NORI - She has endeared herself to me by being able to deliver lines believably… but I also like her spunk and her curiosity. She has this sort of gently rebellious streak but she also looks out for the children whom she is caring for/leading/watching over. She doesn’t put them in harm’s way recklessly, and when she does sense danger, she gets them away safely. Contrast with Galadriel’s leadership style if you will.

I also enjoyed her banter with her friend, Poppy.

However, the hobbits are not in recorded history in the 2nd age. Perhaps this doesn’t mean they didn’t exist, but they didn’t make it into any of the great stories (hence Treebeard and others never having heard of them), so having them in this show annoys me even if they are cute and fun.

Okay, I know that actually looks like a lot of things I liked, but if you really look at it, that’s only 2 things. Because Elrond/Durin/Durin’s Wife/Khazad-dum are all pretty much one big thread, and yes, I liked it. It still had MST3K-able moments and it wasn’t even close to perfect. It was a glimmer of light in a sea of mediocrity. That is all.

And so, I give Episode 2 a grand total of 2 dragon eggs out of 5. Which leaves us at a 1.5 out of 5 for the season so far.

I’ve tried to be as fair as I can. At this point, I am willing to allow for “first season jitters.” I’ll also acknowledge that plenty of my favorite shows have pretty terrible pilot episodes or even whole first seasons that are rough. I also give the whole show props for being clean and family friendly so far.

However, the show overall is at best, mediocre and boring. And while I’m happy that it’s not offensive… that’s not exactly enough to pull me in for more.

I’ll probably watch episode 3 at some point, if only to review it here.

Maybe.

In far more fun news, there’s only 2 days left to nominate and second your favorite fantasy characters! Make sure to swing by my previous post to put in your votes for your favorite Epic Heroines, enter the epic giveaway, join the IG challenge, and find all the links to the other categories!